We just tried our first Buenos Aires Dulce de Leche Brownie from Zingermans.com, described as:
Two layers of Black Magic brownie sandwich a decadent layer of organic dulce de leche milk caramel from Argentina. Topped with crumbles of praline almonds and burnt sugar. The sweetest, softest, richest of all brownies, gooey like a fudgy brownie.
One bite, and–poof!–I suddenly have a new mission in life. You see, those brownies are so terrible … so absolutely, amazingly AWFUL … that I have sworn to eat them all. Yes, I said it. I’m going to eat every single Buenos Aires Brownie on the planet … just to keep them from poisoning anyone else.
I’m under no delusions. This is going to be a tough job, but someone’s got to do it. First and foremost, I’m not a milk drinker. That would have been an advantage, but nooOOOooo! I’ll just have to drink lots and lots of coffee in order to wash the thick, ooey gooey chocolate and dulce de leche out of my mouth and teeth. The dark chocolate will probably stain my teeth and tongue relentlessly, but I’ll manage to chew my way through it somehow … just to be sure that no one else finds those crispy, sweet nibbles of almonds and burnt sugar in their way. I shudder all the way down my spine when I flash back to their monstrous crunch, and the way those dense brownies themselves just gushed chocolate all around them. It was vile and disgusting, and I just can’t see ever letting anyone else ever have to go though what I just had to bear.
Therefore, I do hereby ask everyone on the planet (including the warehouse at Zingermans.com) to just go ahead and ship all of the Buenos Aires Dulce de Leche Brownies straight to my house. I’ll get the coffee pot cleaned out, and steel my nerves and tastebuds to get ready!
Note: I’m not quite so disgusted by the Magic Brownies from Zingermans.com, but–in the interest of protecting others–you can ship those to me, too.
I’m not quite sure yet how I’ll handle them at the same time … but I’ll figure out something